Do you know Jesus or is there something inside of you curious to know.
The first most important thing that you must know is that JESUS is GODs only begotten son. He is the lamb of GOD who has taken away the sin of the world. That who believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
The truth is I thought about this for some time how could I tell others who JESUS is. To be honest I feel unqualified because I consider myself still a young Christian.
After all I have only been a follower of Christ (JESUS) for a little over a year. However, although that time now appears short compared to the long life, I know in my heart I have yet to live, you can truly experience a lot in just one year.
As for me I have been Transformed by the Renewal of my mind. You may wonder in what way have I been transformed. What do you mean by the Renewal of your mind? I used to ask the same question.
ROMANS 12:2
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
For me to answer that for you, I want to take you on a ride. Us believers of Christ would say let me tell you, my testimony.
(DEFENITION)
(TESTIMONY: evidence or proof provided by the existence or appearance of something.)
I was born in the Dominican Republic, at a young age my father left my mother and came to live in the United States, Now I was being raised by a single mother, at the age of three my mother also decided to come to the United States with the hopes of creating a better future for my sisters and me.
My mother had to make a real sacrifice leaving her three daughters behind with a woman she thought she could trust. I honestly never spoke to my mother enough about why she chose that woman, but I know everything she has done has been with good reason and intention.
Before I continue, I want to warn you that my story isn’t very pretty I mean I’m pretty sure most of us all have experienced horrific things, but do we really like to speak of them. Most of the time NO. honestly most of us hide those experiences in an invisible box locked away with a key in the deepest parts of ourselves,
My memories as a child living in the Dominican Republic are blurry and not many, my fondest memory is going camping with the neighborhood kids, finding different waterfalls that we could dive into, forgetting all our worries and living freely.
Now these are the memories I’ve kept locked away in a box in the deepest darkest parts of myself. As a child I remember the woman that took care of myself, and my sisters had her own children who were teenagers at that time. Unfortunately, she entrusted them to take care of us when she needed to do things. This takes me to the other memories that have been hidden.
When entrusting her son, I was sexually abused. This is something I didn’t realize until I was older and understood that memory and that the pictures in my mind were not normal.
These are events I believe took place from the ages of 3-4 until age 7. At age 7 my mother was finally able to get visas for myself and my sisters and we now began living in the United States.
I won’t speak too much on that horrific topic from my childhood. That may be a topic for another time.
Now coming to the United States was one of the most exciting things for me and my sisters. Finally, together with our mother again. I will never forget when our mother opened the fridge at our home and said this is all for you girls you can eat whatever you’d like. I gained so much healthy weight in just a month.
Now I’m going to fast forward to other shortly explained main events of my life thus far.
Now you’re probably wondering well where has your father been this whole time. Well to my knowledge throughout the years he did help my mother financially however we didn’t have a relationship with him.
When coming to the United States I expected to build a relationship with him, but unfortunately that was something that was never stable, sometimes we would go years without seeing or hearing from him. I remember thinking, wondering if he would call for a birthday or maybe Christmas.
I remember I used to wonder what it was like to have a father; I saw friends have that and I wanted that. Now I did have two stepfathers in my lifetime until now however that itself did not last and honestly was not the best example of a father figure.
Anyway, so my father would come into my life in and out throughout the years, typically for a month or two and he would disappear all over again. At my innocence I didn’t quite understand this, and my hope remained alive.
But then, I grew, and I began to understand and rather than faith my heart was filled with hate and anger. I now understood that he had a choice to be in my life, but he chose not to choose me. I hated him for that.
Now, lets fast forward to the next phase of my life. Now I just explained shortly my childhood and my experience with my father. Now this honestly created the plot of my life. These early on traumas and dysfunctions led me to seek love from men. But that led me to abusive relationships, and I allowed them. I wish I could say I didn’t, but I did.
The truth is I had no idea what love was specially from a man, and I allowed things that eventually I realized were not okay but in the moment in my emotional immaturity I believed that, that way of love was normal.
You may wonder what kind of abuse you experienced, unfortunately all. Mental, emotional & physical.
Now remember this is somewhat a short way of telling you, my story. Through those unhealthy experiences I did have two daughters. Both unmarried and both ended in broken relationships.
Now I want to fast forward to the most recent relationship I was in which now was over a year ago. Were almost at the best part of this Testimony.
Prior to my last relationship I had just gotten out of the most toxic relationship and experiences I have ever experienced, that individual was abusive in all ways, specifically emotionally and mentally; not that one is less traumatic then the other by the way.
At that time, I began to fear for my life, I had finally let him go and was beginning to free myself from that prison. He was stalking me, and I needed a way out for myself and my young daughters. I chose what my naïve self-believed was right and moved in with a man I thought was going to love me and my girls better. Honestly most of all I wanted to escape the place I was in and at the time I thought that was my only option.
Now in the beginning everything seemed well, in my emotional immaturity and trauma I quickly fell and began a completely new commitment. This quickly went downhill. I had not healed from the last relationship, so it wasn’t until experiencing issues in the new relationship that I realized how traumatized I was from the prior one.
This led to an on and off unhealthy cycle with that individual. That Lasted for about a year. By July 2020 I was so unhappy, it felt like my heart was warn out and drained. I felt like all the love I carried I had given away, but none was returned, and I felt empty. I began to remember all the toxic cycles of my life that I have been experiencing and my heart was craving change more than ever.
At that time, I had a friend who began seeking God and told me her experiences and how it was changing her and that began a spark in my heart. Now deep down I have always believed, or should I say hoped God was real, but I never built a relationship with him. From a recommendation from that friend who by the way is know my absolute best friend, but that’s a topic for another blog.
Slowly I began praying the same prayer over and 0ver every day, I occasionally read the bible.
(THE PRAYER: DEAR GOD, PLEASE GIVE ME PATIENCE, STRENTH, AND WISDOM TO HANDLE ALL SITUATIONS IN MY LIFE ACCODRINGLY)
I had no idea that through that small gesture I was calling out to God, and he was soon going to answer. I was at my limit with unhappiness and God was ready to take me out of it.
One of the most important things I believe a person must know when seeking God for a change or a way out of a bad situation is that it will most likely not look how you would expect it.
August 2020, I got into the worst physical altercation with the person I was with, it was traumatizing but at that point I decided it was over, soon after I moved with my mother, and I never looked back and began to seek to God. It was one of my hardest experiences. But understand that sometimes for us to step into a better life we will experience something difficult so that we can be completely detached from the situation, person, place etc.
Now I won’t go into detail about my life now with God that will also be for another time. But a year later of being in a relationship with JESUS let me tell you who I know he is.
JESUS is a redeemer, he died on a cross just for me (and YOU) so that we could be forgiven of all the sins we have committed, and through that he has changed me, he has healed me. He has shown me true love and he is still teaching me every day. He came into my life took me into his arms and gave me peace, joy, safety. He shows me every day how valuable and how special I am. JESUS has given me back my purpose, he has restored my faith. JESUS has made me a better mother, a better woman, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend. And he is not done yet this is just the beginning and knowing that makes me eternally grateful it fills my heart with gratitude. I hope you know who JESUS is. I hope you know how much our GOD our father loves us.
I hope that this shortened form of my complete testimony blesses you and helps in any kind of way.
If you want to start your own personal relationship with GOD pray the prayer of salvation below.
Father, it is written in Your Word that if I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in my heart that You have raised Him from the dead, I shall be saved.
Therefore, Father, I confess that Jesus is my Lord. I make Him Lord of my life right now. I believe in my heart that You raised Jesus from the dead. I renounce my past life with Satan and close the door to any of his devices.
I thank You for forgiving me of all my sin. Jesus is my Lord, and I am a new creation. Old things have passed away; now all things become new in Jesus’ name. Amen.
May GOD bless you abundantly, until the next Blog my dear friend.
XOXO
