Singleness is a Gift

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I believe that singleness is a gift.

Are you in a season of waiting for that special someone, perhaps you imagine him as Prince Charming coming to take you away to live in his castle.

We may not all experience this gullible desire, but the truth is women desire a partner and relationship. We are dreamers and some of us romantics.

The thought of a partner can feel like the piece that will complete our hearts, sometimes the answer to our problems.

In the waiting it can be difficult to see the gift in singleness.

For a while I was one of those women who felt like singleness was lonely and purposeless.

That did not last forever.

So for my single Christian girls reading this, and maybe you’ve discovered the gift of singleness or you could be struggling with hopelessness that Mr.Right will never show up, or like me your right in between discovering.

Let’s have a heart to heart my friend…

In the waiting

I have been single for two and a half years. The same amount of time I have been walking this Christian walk. 

All our stories will be different and some alike so in a summary here’s mine.

I grew up without a father, because of this I struggled understanding how a man should love me and treat me.

While I did know of God I didn’t have a relationship with him and deep down I didn’t really believe he existed.

As I experienced many relationships I found myself in toxic relationships allowing things that were destructive to my identity.

I did not practice celibacy and had children out of wedlock.  At the peak of these very toxic relationships, I couldn’t take it anymore and when a close friend mentioned God and that she was beginning to seek him, there was a tug at my heart to try God.

No where else to look, no more hope, broken and empty I began to slowly read the Bible and pray to God in the moments the toxic things would happen in that last relationship.

I had no idea how to properly pray so I used to say “God I pray you give me wisdom, patience and strength to get through this situation”

Not even two months into praying this every time things got crazy, I had a huge fight with hat individual in which I experienced physical abuse.

Literally the very next day I began my walk in christ, often times I say I literally stumbled into my walk – haha.

I am so glad I did. I struggled in the beginning renewing my mind from the comfort of always being in a relationship.

Most of us women know that although we were in something toxic and didn’t know any better it becomes a bondage and you just have no idea how to be alone.

After a full year of renewing my mind and being in singleness I finally  began to see the gift in singleness.

I found so much joy and healing in taking care of myself, intentionally pursuing my healing.

It was such a unique experience, I have learned to be in a relationship with the most important one before involving myself with someone.

“Before we can love someone, and someone can love us we must experience the love of God.”

Understanding that people will always disappoint us no matter how amazing they are because they are merely imperfect humans just like us. There is truly only one that’s perfect and his name is Jesus.

Discovering that Singleness is a Gift

So what does it mean to be in between; discovering the gift in singleness, yet wondering how will it be to find Mr. Right, will he ever come?

Ironically I went from not knowing how to be alone to feeling like I don’t know what its to be in a relationship.

It is such an odd feeling because it is only something that makes sense in the spirit, it is as if God has wiped away everything I knew that was completely incorrect about relationships.

The focus has been on growing in deeper relationship with God, experiencing a love that is eternal and does not change.

Falling in love with God is a love that does not disappoint. This is the very thing that makes singleness a gift.

Through this experience and time of growing with God there is a purity that is restored.

What I have learned is that the focus of being in a relationship with God rather then the man that’s coming is exactly what will lead us to the person God has for us.

While we may feel like we know what Love is, until we have experienced it from he who is love we don’t truly know, and loving someone that is human just like us who is bound to make mistakes too will require a supernatural understanding of love.

Understanding the gift of singleness

While waiting may seem like its lasting a lifetime, we must understand that God desires a relationship for us.

After all it is his original design, we see that in the book of Genesis when God made eve from Adams rib.

God saw that it would be a good thing for Adam to have a helper. That is exactly what he intends for us.

It all begins with surrender and trust to Gods will over our life’s. Gods will is sometimes the longer route for some because the waiting is preparation.

A processing that will equip us for that very promise. Gods plans are always greater and a relationship he brings together will be to glorify his kingdom.

And when it gets difficult my friend we rely on God and his scripture.

Scriptures of Encouragement

1 Corinthians 7:7-9

⁷ But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.
⁸ So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. ⁹ But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust..

1 Corinthians 7:32-34

³² I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. ³³ But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. ³⁴ His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.

Genesis 2:18

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

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XOXO

Roxana